keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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