woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
