I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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