she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
