You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize