I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
