I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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