I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
