i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
