yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
