im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
