I didn't shave. On purpose
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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