Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
