I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
