go do what you do best...puke behind churches
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Watching her eat just hurts me
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
