this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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