Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
