dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Panties = found
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