try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
