how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
