you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
