Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
