It's like God shit irony all over that family
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
