I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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