after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
