he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
smell my finger.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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