idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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