my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
