I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Randomize
