you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
