Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
