A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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