apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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