Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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