Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
