Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
