no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
