I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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