I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
