Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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