Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
