Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
