Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
