She's JV to your varsity
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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