Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
