can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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