FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
