If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
