you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
