Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
