Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
