He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
