a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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