did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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