You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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