Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
