Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
