It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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